Ray, 1 year....
Lori,
One year...It seems like only yesterday...I've been watching for this day for about 5 months now, wondering what I was going to feel. It really makes me remember all the years that you sat and missed Dannielle on the anniversary of her passing. I am thinking that I was not as sensitive to your feelings as I could have been. I told you to think about her being with God now, and that was the very best thing that she could ever experience. But somehow those thoughts seem hollow to me...as they must have to you then. There is an empty feeling that I know only you can fill. All I can say is that I am very sorry that I could not feel what you were feeling then. It makes me think of you and miss you even more
now.
Lori, after I have been through the same thoughts a thousand times, for one year now, I again can only come to one answer...I love you, and I always will. I know that you asked me to 'move on' after you left to go home, but I cannot cease to compare every one that I meet - to you. The day we met was the single most life-changing day in my life. You seemed at first to be sort of guarded, but by the second day, you were so full of the love for life. With you, there was never a dull moment. Going everywhere as you showed me the beautiful sites of your city, Edmonton. You were so eager to do everything, and with me by your side. You took a beaten and tired man and showed me how to once again have fun...enjoy life...to live again. To live again...when I thought that I was forever lost to finding happiness. You brought me back to life, and for that I can only love you forever. I know that is not enough for what you did for me. I wish it could be more, but I told you (and I hope that our ten years together showed it) that I will love you until the day I die. I meant that then, and I still mean it today!
I am trying to move on with my life because of your request for that. But I am finding it to be very hard. How can a man who is still so in love with his wife, ever be interested in anyone else? I know that time heals all wounds, but this is not simply a wound...God has said that "the two shall become one flesh'...and I have lost 1/2 of who I am...that is you Lori. My love, my life, my everything. I miss you...I miss you...I MISS YOU!
Love always
Ray
